God is definitely a Woman

January 20, 2012 at 22:08 (Other) (, , , , )

Sometimes it’s a good time to wander around in thoughts, when you hear nobody anymore and nobody hears you, because you’re silent. Then, maybe, your mother calls you and because you were so far away, for one moment you think it’s God who’s calling you. You hear your name, and the first thing you wonder is: Is God a woman?

That makes me think. If God were a woman, this would happen:

– Priests would be women, too. Which means that the whole church-thing would change. The decoration would be better and it would smell nice in there.

– No one would understand a word about being a Christian, because it’s a scientifically proven fact that women are complex.

– The Bible would change, too. Eve would come first instead of Adam. Adam would be made of one of Eve’s brain cells. They’d have two daughters indstead of sons. The wife of Noah would build a boat, because she’s a strong, independant woman. Mozessa would be the name of the woman who split the sea. And, of course, Mother Mary woudl have a daughter instead of a son,too. Her name can be Jesus Christ, because that makes it easier for us to say Jesus Christ! when we’re upset/surprised/amazed/… (I’m surprised how much I know about the Bible!)

– God is a woman. No one has ever proven that God is a man. The thing is: God is just smart enough to pretend she’s a man, but really she isn’t. That’s why all the things I just said didn’t happen

That’s of course not what it’s all about. It’s about what you were thinking when you were wandering around in thoughts. People think all kinds of stuff, and most of the time it’s about their own dull life. About breaking up with your boy- or girlfriend, about how much you hate your job, about friends who aren’t real friends, about how much they feel lonely, and so on. To be honest, I’m only interested in such dull thoughts when they’re mine. Same for dreams. I personally find my dreams very interesting, because they contain people I know and situations I like. Others have dreams about being attacked by giant pigs (true story!) and that’s not something I want to hear. Strange thing: I never have nightmares. Last week, I had a scary dream, but it wasn’t a nightmare. I knew what the dream was about the day after, but now I’ve simply forgotten all about it. Life can be hard.


Footfootfootnote: I’m an atheist. I say this because I want people to have a certain image of me. A good one.



  1. Lily said,

    I think this is a good thought and a good thing to question. The only reason I think God is a man is because I think he made men in his image. But I think women are just as important in the bible. There were temptresses, queens, wives, daughters, all sorts of gals who were important. After all, if Eve didn’t eat the apple, none of us would be here right? 🙂

    • Random Female Blog said,

      Okay, but I don’t see why we wouldn’t be here if Eve didn’t eat the apple. You see, the bible is not my thing..

  2. kato writes said,

    Of course God is a woman. Did you not see the movie? But seriously, if God had been a man we’d long ago have found out exactly how he’d done it all.

  3. Michael Cargill said,

    If He was a man I would have been rewarded with riches by now due to my Xbox 360 prowess. Definitely a woman and every time something bad happens to me, this serves to reinforce my belief.

    I also know that somehow, somewhere Lily in Canada is laughing at my misfortune. Gossip spreads fast among you lady folk.

    • Random Female Blog said,

      Did you do something wrong so that God (who is a woman) and women in general want to take their revenge on you?

      You have no idea how fast gossip spreads when it comes to our ears. (I’m not sure about anything I said here, ’cause I think I made a lot of grammatical mistakes..)

  4. edrevets said,

    a. other people’s dreams are rarely interesting.

    b. Even if God were a women, the Bible was still written by men. So…..they probably think God was more like them than icky women.

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